A Man's Fight
by AerisFan
Summary: Misato bears witness to the coming of age of a boy named Shinji Ikari.


This is a simple little fic that I couldn't get out of my head. Not sure when this takes place as far as the Eva timeline. Just use your imaginations. Maybe this will tide you over until I finish chapter four of RATDOTL. Hope you'll enjoy!

A Man's Fight

Misato Katsuragi awoke to the sound of sobbing. It took only a moment for her sleep-addled brain to recognize the source of the sound. Her heart wrenched.

_Shinji…_

She crawled out of the futon quickly, already worried. She slid open her door and tiptoed across the hall. She did not want Shinji to hear her and get upset, so she kept as quiet as she could. Across the hall, she could see that Asuka's door was cracked, but she dismissed that possibility instantly. He would never…

She opened his door.

"Shinji-kun?" she asked quietly, not wishing to disturb him.

The room was empty. She turned, worried, and walked into the kitchen. Nobody was there, either. She searched the house from top to bottom, growing more worried every minute. There was only one room in the house left to check. Asuka's. She felt herself go cold at the thought of what Shinji could be doing in Asuka's room. She had insulted him again today, mocking him for some fault, real or imagined. Was he angry enough to hurt her? Normally, he took her insults in stride, but today…today, when Asuka had insulted him, she had seen something on his face she could not place. Something she did not like at all. Something very much like resignation…but something else as well, something darker. She looked through the partly opened door into the room and her blood froze in her veins. Shinji was kneeling next to Asuka, sobbing. In one hand he held something, but in the dimness of the room, she could not see what it was. She began to move forward, into the room, but froze at the sound of his voice.

"I tried, Asuka… Isn't that worth anything?"

She stepped back into the hall. For now, she would see how this played out. If he did something to try to hurt Asuka, then she would interfere, but for now, she would wait.

"But I'm sick of trying, Asuka. It hurts to try. I'm tired of being hurt."

Misato craned her head, trying to see what he was holding. No luck, his body was in the way.

"You don't care, do you? You don't care if I get hurt."

He raised a hand towards Asuka's face, and Misato began to move again. He brushed his fingers gently across Asuka's cheek. Misato stopped, heart pounding in her chest.

"You're so beautiful, Asuka. But you're so…cruel…so mean… Why, Asuka? If you were nice, then I could…care…"

He sighed, and turned his head to the side.

"I'm such a coward."

He brought the object he was holding into the light, and Misato halted a scream by sheer force of will. It was a butcher's knife, shiny and very, very sharp. She vaguely remembered showing it to Shinji a few days ago after buying it at a nearby mall.

"I…I do care for you, Asuka… But-but it hurts too much to care…"

He sighed again, and his head lowered.

"I…remember once…when I saved you in the volcano…when you smiled at me…I thought maybe then…then you would care…would see that I cared…"

He shook his head violently.

"Of course you didn't! You just thought that stupid baka Shinji was just trying to show you up again!"

His voice cracked, and he slumped forward onto Asuka, sobbing. Misato almost moved then, but held herself back for worry of what Shinji would do once he realized she had been listening. He pulled himself away from Asuka and continued, his voice angry.

"Then…when you kissed me…I thought that meant something… But it didn't, did it? That was just a lie, wasn't it?! You goddamn little bitch!"

He brought the knife up furiously, then lowered it back down, his head bowed in shame.

"I can't even do that one, simple thing… I really am a coward…"

He raised the knife again, half-heartedly.

"Do you even try to understand, Asuka? I have never tried to hurt you…never! I don't want to beat you! I don't give a crap about some stupid synch scores! What do I have to do to make you understand that?! Asuka, I…"

The anger left him, and his body settled. Slowly, ever so slowly, he leaned forward and kissed him on the lips.

"I love you, Asuka," he whispered, then brought the knife up. Misato moved forward, but he was quick, far too quick, and the knife was falling before she was even halfway across the room. Misato closed her eyes, but the sound of the knife coming down still reverberated in her ears. She opened her eyes slowly, already knowing what she would see.

The knife lay buried to the hilt in Asuka's futon, inches away from her sleeping face. Shinji kneeled beside it, his eyes shocked and unbelieving.

Misato moved forward and put her arms around Shinji. He jumped in shock, and she held him tighter. After a moment, he collapsed into her arms, sobbing.

"Shinji-kun," she whispered, "Not a coward."

She raised him to his feet and led him from the room as he sobbed, great shuddering gasps for breath that tore at her soul.

The room was silent once more.

The next night

By the time the door to Shinji's room opened, Misato was already ready. She had not told anybody about what Shinji had done last night. She had taken the knife from Asuka's futon, and thus far, she had failed to notice the mark. It was a private matter, she had decided. As long as he never tried to do anything more. The hallway was dark, and Misato took advantage of this as she shadowed Shinji across the hall and into Asuka's room. He had no weapon, she noticed hopefully. But hands could be a weapon, could kill. She moved into the room behind him, warily. She wanted no repeat of last night. She wanted to be as close as possible, so she could reach him if he tried something. Shinji stood over Asuka, looking down, his face serene. He turned to the shadows where Misato stood.

"There's no need, Misato-san."

She stared in shock. _How in the hell could he have known?_

As if reading her mind, he responded, "You'd be surprised what you can hear if you're listening hard enough."

She stepped for the shadows, still cautious.

"I can't let you hurt her, Shinji."

He shook his head slowly, his face still peaceful.

"I have no intention of doing that."

She looked at him curiously.

"Then…why are you here?"

"To protect her."

She stared, confused.

"When…when I saw her last night…when I tried to…hurt her, I realized that she's so weak here…so vulnerable…"

She shook her head uncomprehendingly.

"I'm just here to stand guard. To watch her…that is enough…"

"Do you know how bad that sounds?"

He smiled.

"Yes. But, when she sleeps…she looks so…lost… Maybe…I can help her find her way…"

Misato began to reply when Asuka turned in her sleep.

"Mama?" she moaned, her voice frightened.

Misato looked at Asuka's sleeping form, her face contorting in indecision.

"I…understand…"

She walked from the room. When she reached the door, she turned back to look at Shinji.

"Take good care of her…"

Shinji smiled, his face beautiful in the moonlight.

"I will."

Misato walked from the room. Shinji stared after her. After a moment, he turned and kneeled beside Asuka's futon.

"I will…"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Author's Note:

Sorry it was so short. Also, for all of you expecting a darkfic ending, I think a little better of Shinji than that. It was just a small idea I had that I decided to use when I was bored. If you liked it or not, please tell me. If you did, maybe I could do some more. If not, then why the hell are you reading this far anyway? Goodbye, everybody!

I've decided to do an Essay on Evangelion that could not _possibly_ piss anybody off. I'm sure it will anyway.

An Essay on Evangelion

Politically Correct Version

I think I'm gonna go back to pissing people off now.

Send all comments, criticisms, and flames to no flames. I get enough of those as it is.

By the way, if you want me to do any Essay on any particular subject, just e-mail me. I don't really care how controversial it is. Most people here hate me by now anyway.


End file.
